UPCOMING AUDITIONS

Pioneer Productions is so excited to take on one of Neil Simon's most challenging and wickedly funny masterpiece "Rumors".   Please prepare the corresponding sides (attached below) for the role/roles you would like to be considered for.  This is a community theatre production and there is no pay.  There are also no participation dues/fees if cast in a Pioneer show.  Thank you for your understanding and we look forward to meeting you!

We begin in the middle of a crisis.  Chris and Ken Gorman, the first guests to arrive for the anniversary party at Charley and Myra’s house, find the servants absent, Myra missing, and Charlie with a bullet hole in his ear.  The rest of the play is a long and lunatic attempt by the successively arriving guests to figure out—and deal with—this baffling set of facts.

CHARACTER BREAKDOWNS  (ALL roles available)

[KEN GORMAN] Man; 30 to 50 years old; all ethnicities. Ken is Chris’ husband. He is a well-to-do, well- spoken lawyer who takes charge. He is Charley’s attorney and friend. Ken is a pompous know-it-all...when he can hear. Ken has an accident with a shotgun which goes off next to his head and leaves him virtually deaf for a good part of Act 1. Ken is a main driver of the comedy, actor must be able to handle witty, fast paced dialogue.

[CHRIS GORMAN] Woman; 30 to 50 years old; all ethnicities. Chris is a lawyer and is married to Ken. She is an elegant woman in her late 30s/early 40's. She is nervous, neurotic, and easily flustered. She recently quit smoking but quickly falls off the wagon. Chris does have physical comedy requirements and will have to trip over a phone cord and fall on her face.

[LEONARD "LENNY" GANZ] Man; 30 to 50 years old; all ethnicities. Lenny is Claire’s husband and he is Charley’s accountant. Lenny is by far the most foulmouthed, sarcastic and outspoken member of the cast. He is also very likable and hilarious. He is very intolerant of the gossipy lifestyle that he is often involved in.

[CLAIRE GANZ] Woman; 30 to 50 years old; all ethnicities. Claire is Lenny’s wife. She is very concerned with appearances as well as being a smart- mouth who is amused by everything that is going on. She starts the play with a swollen lip, and is a gossip monger. Claire is a typical New York society wife who is sharp as a tack, with a witty sense of humor.

[ERNIE CUSACK] Man; 40 to 60 years old; all ethnicities. Ernie is a psychiatrist and is Cookie's husband. He is also Charley’s analyst. He is smug and somewhat quiet...a calming presence in the midst of the storm of confusion.

[COOKIE CUSACK] Woman; 40 to 60 years old; all ethnicities. Ernie’s wife. Cookie is a flamboyant host of her own cooking show. She is a bit ditzy and is a dramatic personality who delivers much of the physical comedy in the show. Cookie has a bad back...so bad that she carries a special pillow with her everywhere, as she suffers from extreme back spasms. Her back is regularly going out with much writhing and screaming. A couple of times Cookie is actually forced to crawl on and off the stage due to her back ailments. Actress must have great physical comedy skills.

[GLENN COOPER] Man; 40 to 60 years old; all ethnicities. Married to Cassie. Glenn is a candidate running for the New York State Senate. He is quite ambitious and handsome. He is constantly worried about his polished image and how his involvement in the possible crimes being committed all around him might impact his candidacy. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair (which he may or may not be).

[CASSIE COOPER] Woman; 20 to 30 years old; all ethnicities. Cassie is Glenn’s trophy wife. She is very beautiful, jealous, insecure and totally nuts. She and Glenn hate each other. She doesn’t want to be there, she is constantly fighting with Glenn and she is constantly threatening divorce, as she obsesses over her husband’s relationships with other women. Cassie is a believer in the power of crystals and must rub her quartz crystal to calm herself down.

[OFFICER WELSH] Man; 40 to 60 years old; all ethnicities. A no nonsense, vigorous, straight talking, Veteran city police officer having a rough night; does not tolerate lying; sees through the "classy" facade that the others put up.

[OFFICER PUDNEY] Any gender; 20 to 40 years old; all ethnicities. Officer Welch's partner; Rookie Cop, a strong but silent type.

Download all audition sides Google drive  here: